I do not have a compassionate heart.
I do not possess patience to persevere beyond my limits.
I do not know how to fix my shit. But I will. Somehow.
I want to be to be heard, and for someone to listen.
I want to know if I will ever be happy for longer than an afternoon.
I want to know why I give trust another try, and have it explode in my face
because I am not able unlearn my defensiveness.
And why the one thing so deeply, deeply important to me is used by an adult thru my child to hurt me. I feel grief and failure. I feel menacing anger.